I think everyone is thinking about themselves. Not in a superficial way, but how they fit in and what people think of them. I’ve never feel as though I belong anywhere, so I just wander around and wonder if they are going to put out a dessert table with brownie bites.
The insecurities are indeed always there! I got really lucky in having a chance to get that insight about being in the same boat very early on.
My very first illustration workshop, we did a little side trip to a local college art museum. I don't remember exactly what they said, but I remember walking behind these two illustrators, giants in my eyes, who have been working successfully for decades, and hearing them talk to one another about their insecurities and doubts about their art. It was absolutely this moment of "Holy shit. They feel the same way I do. That means it's not about the feelings going away, but learning to accept and live with them."
I think this is the correct take in most cases---everyone else is buried in the same insecurities (and at every level! As evidenced by the idea that someone like THE Kyle Webster would feel uneasy anywhere). Anyone who is worrying about how "cool" other artists are has significant problems of their own: either they're desperately managing their sense of self worth by stratifying social classes, or they've got an ego bordering on megalomania. Either way, that person is MORE likely to be irrelevant in 10 years compared to the person who is insecure and focusing on fixing that part of themselves.
Your post resonates as I’ve been thinking about what AI means for the craft skills I’ve worked hard to build over the past decade. But I came across a line this morning that offers a relevant perspective: “We are always at the bottom of our next level.” It’s good there’s always something more to grow into!
Also, YES, would love to see your behind-the-scenes work stuff, tutorials, and such. Maybe one day you’ll host An Accidental Experts conference where you aren’t the oldest :)
Oh. No Android purchase available? The app sounds perfect for my son, who loves to draw and gets overwhelmed sometimes. He luckily has an IPad, but waaah! I don't 😄😫👍
I attended an illustration fair with portfolio workshops a few years ago, and even though I was "only" 30, I was one of the oldest people there, and I felt insecure too. Especially because I never made it as an illustrator full time, just occasional work here and there. But it dawned on me that the reason for this wasn't that everyone else my age was off having fabulous careers and didn't need to attend these events. It was more likely that most people had to give up and pursue more realistic career paths. The young people here represented those recently graduated, hopeful 20-somethings, those starting their career, and those who are deemed trendy for a while. Some of them will go on to have brilliant careers like you, and others will switch paths. Maybe it's embarrassing to still have this dream almost a decade later and not get anywhere, and it's hard not to feel envious sometimes. But no matter what, I'll keep trying! It's important to work on your ego and negative automatic thought patterns. I'm sure you're an inspiring role model for a lot of younger artists at these events, and it's an honoured position to help them. I hope you remember you're very skilled at what you do and take it easy on yourself.
Hi, Madeleine - thanks for the comment. We are all on different timelines - I didn't get published in any national magazines until my early thirties and I spent years watching other artists landing New Yorker assignments fresh out of college! It was something I got used to after a while and I don't pay as much attention anymore. And I guess it's just normal to always feel a bit awkward or unsure of oneself if you're a creative person because it's so easy to be truly in love with everyone ELSE's work while it's a bit more difficult to like your own.
Love that Jack Black's illustration! :) And I will seek you out if I ever go to one of those conference, we oldies can hang out awkwardly together.
Thank you, Valerie - even though I drew it so long ago, I still like it. : )
See you out and about!
At 55, I'm feeling the same way at comic conventions!
It's all in our heads!
I think everyone is thinking about themselves. Not in a superficial way, but how they fit in and what people think of them. I’ve never feel as though I belong anywhere, so I just wander around and wonder if they are going to put out a dessert table with brownie bites.
Mmm ... brownie bites.
The insecurities are indeed always there! I got really lucky in having a chance to get that insight about being in the same boat very early on.
My very first illustration workshop, we did a little side trip to a local college art museum. I don't remember exactly what they said, but I remember walking behind these two illustrators, giants in my eyes, who have been working successfully for decades, and hearing them talk to one another about their insecurities and doubts about their art. It was absolutely this moment of "Holy shit. They feel the same way I do. That means it's not about the feelings going away, but learning to accept and live with them."
Yeah, it never stops! But that's good, I guess? I hope?!
Take me with you to the next conference and I guarantee you won’t be the oldest guy there!
😀😀
SO RELATABLE! In every way. Thank you Kyle.
Glad it hits home!
I think this is the correct take in most cases---everyone else is buried in the same insecurities (and at every level! As evidenced by the idea that someone like THE Kyle Webster would feel uneasy anywhere). Anyone who is worrying about how "cool" other artists are has significant problems of their own: either they're desperately managing their sense of self worth by stratifying social classes, or they've got an ego bordering on megalomania. Either way, that person is MORE likely to be irrelevant in 10 years compared to the person who is insecure and focusing on fixing that part of themselves.
We humans have a hard time believing things are fine, I think. It’s a skill I am trying to build for myself so I can relax more!
Your post resonates as I’ve been thinking about what AI means for the craft skills I’ve worked hard to build over the past decade. But I came across a line this morning that offers a relevant perspective: “We are always at the bottom of our next level.” It’s good there’s always something more to grow into!
Also, YES, would love to see your behind-the-scenes work stuff, tutorials, and such. Maybe one day you’ll host An Accidental Experts conference where you aren’t the oldest :)
Oo … a conference. That’s a big idea … but very interesting!
If you ever do, I'd love to help! I have experience doing so + can recommend an events logistics team. It'd be fun.
Oh. No Android purchase available? The app sounds perfect for my son, who loves to draw and gets overwhelmed sometimes. He luckily has an IPad, but waaah! I don't 😄😫👍
I attended an illustration fair with portfolio workshops a few years ago, and even though I was "only" 30, I was one of the oldest people there, and I felt insecure too. Especially because I never made it as an illustrator full time, just occasional work here and there. But it dawned on me that the reason for this wasn't that everyone else my age was off having fabulous careers and didn't need to attend these events. It was more likely that most people had to give up and pursue more realistic career paths. The young people here represented those recently graduated, hopeful 20-somethings, those starting their career, and those who are deemed trendy for a while. Some of them will go on to have brilliant careers like you, and others will switch paths. Maybe it's embarrassing to still have this dream almost a decade later and not get anywhere, and it's hard not to feel envious sometimes. But no matter what, I'll keep trying! It's important to work on your ego and negative automatic thought patterns. I'm sure you're an inspiring role model for a lot of younger artists at these events, and it's an honoured position to help them. I hope you remember you're very skilled at what you do and take it easy on yourself.
Hi, Madeleine - thanks for the comment. We are all on different timelines - I didn't get published in any national magazines until my early thirties and I spent years watching other artists landing New Yorker assignments fresh out of college! It was something I got used to after a while and I don't pay as much attention anymore. And I guess it's just normal to always feel a bit awkward or unsure of oneself if you're a creative person because it's so easy to be truly in love with everyone ELSE's work while it's a bit more difficult to like your own.